Tornadoes of Negativity
(from Top 20 Teens, pp. 157-164.)
People or groups operating Below the Line or in the midst of a Thought Circle can produce a Tornado, the invisible, awesome power of social influence towards negativity.
Thought Circles are mental habits where one thought leads to another and another, getting larger and larger until they overwhelm the thinker. They may continue even if they are not logically connected.
If a group of people get caught up in this type of thinking, however, a Tornado may form. Sometimes the negative energy can draw an innocent bystander into the negative experience.
A common response to someone’s complaining is to express our understanding of what is being said by sharing our own complaining. For example, a conversation might go like this:
Joe says: "I hate Mr. Jones! He made me come in for extra lessons after school and I missed my bus to paddling practice."
Sue replies: "I know what you mean. Last week I had to give up my lunch just to re-take that test I failed. It’s not fair."
Bill walks by and overhears the conversation. He adds his two cents. "Did you see the ton of homework he gave for the weekend? That man hates his students."
Undoubtedly, this tornado will continue to spin out of control into a "spewing" contest where each participant "upchucks" negative energy on the others.
Responding to Tornadoes
Since there isn’t much that can stop a rampaging, Category 5 Tornado, the best thing to do is get out of its way.
Identify the Tornado as such. Be aware. Know where conditions are ripe for Tornadoes. These include lunch areas, locker rooms, computer chat rooms, and even the family dinner table.
Listen without taking it to heart. Realize that you don’t have to agree just because others do. It is possible to listen without agreeing!
Respond by saying, "I hear you." This way you acknowledge where your friends are experiencing without adding more negative energy.
Leave. If the Tornado persists with its ‘seek and destroy’ mission, you may need to simply get up and walk away. Remember, either by what you do or who you hang with, you can develop the reputation of being a Tornado starter.
Take more drastic measures. If certain friends or the group you hang out with are dominated by Tornados, you may need to expand you friendships, limit your time with Tornado-dominated groups, or terminate some relationships. (E-L-T)
Have you even been in a Tornado? What was it about?
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Have you even been the victim or known the victim of a Tornado? How did you or that person feel about it?
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Think of something positive to do or say that would have stopped the "trash talk" before it became a Tornado.
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