Be Proactive
In any given day, you have the choice to be proactive or reactive. Proactive people make choices based on values; they think before they act. Reactive people respond without thinking.
Example: You overhear your best friend bad-mouthing you in front of a group. She doesn’t know you heard her. Just five minutes ago, she was sweet-talking you to your face. You feel hurt and betrayed.
Reactive Response
Proactive Response
Reactive people tend to see themselves as victims. "That’s just the way I am. I’m not responsible for the way I act. I can’t change. I was fated to be this way."
Proactive people tend to see themselves as problem solvers. "I’ll do it. I can do better than that. Let’s look at all our options. There’s got to be a way. I’m not going to let your bad mood rub off on me."
The Circle of Control
The fact is, we can’t control everything that happens to us. We can only control the way we respond to things. We can do this by:
Turning setbacks into triumphs. Make the most of the situation and find a way to use it to make yourself stronger and better than ever.
Rising about abuse. Abuse thrives in secrecy. Tell someone, talk to a loved one, or visit a professional therapist. The more people who know, the easier it is to stop the abuse.
Becoming an Agent of Change. Become a role model, someone who sets the rules and shows what an admirable person is. Create a new life for yourself and whatever may follow.
Can Do
Being proactive means two things. First, you take responsibility for your life. Second, you use your creativity and persistence to accomplish your objectives. You must seize the initiative and make things happen.
Four things are necessary – and you have them all:
Self-Awareness - I can stand apart from myself and observe my thoughts and actions.
Conscience – I can listen to my inner voice and know right from wrong
Imagination – I can envision new possibilities
Willpower – I have the power to choose
Things to Think About
Listen carefully to yourself today. Count the number of times you say "I can’t"…"You make me…" "I have to…" "Why can’t they…." _____________
What is the reactive phrase that you use the most? _________________________
Write yourself a note: "I will not let ____________________________________
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If you get a bad grade on a test, what will you do? __________________________________________________________________
If you see someone you don’t know, how will you introduce yourself? __________________________________________________________________
Identify something over which you have no control ________________________
What is your most unhealthy habit? ____________________________________
What are you going to do about it? _____________________________________
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