An Inside Job 90/10
(from Top 20 Teens pp. 21-26)You live in two worlds: the outside world - which includes your life at home, school, and work- and the inside world – which consists of the space between your ears.
Your thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and opinion all reflect in the outside world of your life. What percentage of your success is tied to the outside, and what percentage is tied to the inside?
The thinking of Top 20s is that most (90%) of their happiness or success is tied to the inside world and that very little (10%) is tied to the outside conditions.
Bottom 80s believe just the opposite. They believe very little (10%) of their success is tied to the inside world. Instead, they place large value (90%) on outside conditions.
Think of a teacher with whom you might have some difficulty. Do you think it is easier to change your teacher or to change the way you think about your teacher? Where does it make sense to put 90% of your energy? Often we spend our time ganging up on the teacher and trying to get other kids in line with our thinking. All of this energy is wasted because the outside is usually very difficult or impossible to change.
When we improve the inside, the outside eventually gets better.
Top 20s search for a better way to deal with a situation. Bottom 80s believe they are victimized and that nothing can be done to affect the situation.
Blaming, Pretending and Excuse Making
Accepting responsibility for our own lives means we have to stop blaming others for our experience. We have to stop pretending that we have no control, even though we may have become quite good at the habit.
Pretending allows us to hide. We become trapped in who or what we are pretending to be.
Making excuses is an effort to protect ourselves, and protecting ourselves from responsibility is a sure way of staying stuck in the Bottom 80.
Which of the following statements are you most likely to believe?
|
Top 20 Beliefs |
Bottom 80 Beliefs |
| I
use my attitude to control the event I can always work on my inside. I’m not sure what it is but there’s a better way of thinking about this. I see choices Change is possible. |
I
allow the event to control my attitude. I wait for the outside to change. There is nothing I can do except what I’ve always done. I’m stuck. I can’t help the way I am. It’s in my genes…my family…and there’s nothing I can do about it. |